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DUH

I am thinking of starting a new publishing venture with a product so bold and adventurous that it is bound to guarantee me a place in the pantheon of media titans and make me rich enough to stay at home all day in my pajamas and eat Chinese take-out.

I will call this DUH magazine, just what an information-addicted and style-obsessed public needs to keep itself abreast of the latest ground breaking developments in our hyper-charged world. News that's really important and unexpected, such as "Ten year study reveals that victims of domestic violence have high levels of stress," or "Research reveals that breastfeeding is good for both mothers and babies."

Gee. Who knew? DUH.

I intend to cover a broad array of issues and the latest fads and fashions to ensure that I am always relevant and in demand. But early on I will devote an entire issue of DUH to American health care, which is ripe for the kind of bold investigative journalism my readers favor. Here are a few sample headlines:

"Economists conclude that people in good health have lower health care costs."

"Study documents that people who report periods of prolonged unhappiness may be clinically depressed."

"Prestigious Institute of Medicine finds the American health care system to be fragmented and inefficient."

"Drug trials sponsored by pharmaceutical companies found to produce positive outcomes."

"Survey indicates that health plans and providers are suspicious, don't trust each other."

"Mental, physical health found to be connected. Researchers question why they are in two separate systems."

"America has highest health care costs in the world, yet produces average outcomes. Analysts suspect cost and quality might not be related."

"More women enter medicine. Experts predict issues of lifestyle, balance between work and family to become more important."

"Despite medical advances, physicians predict people will die well into the foreseeable future. End of life care expected to drive up costs."

"Consumers whine about rising premiums and co-pays, expect someone else to pick up the tab."

DUH.

Now, I may be swimming against the tide here. These are real headlines from past studies by people with advanced degrees and funded with real money. If much of the social sciences merely confirms what common sense already tells us - and I see little evidence to the contrary - the powers that be may not appreciate a magazine that gets to the point quicker, and with less expense and fuss. Imagine a world where action is based on common sense. Entire industries engaged with endless studies, strategic plans and breathless pronouncements by consultants would disappear. The economy might well collapse.

On the other hand, think of the possibilities. We would have fewer meetings to "study" problems and issue ponderous "findings." We would hold fewer conferences, give fewer speeches, or pursue fewer advanced degrees that stifle common sense and, eventually, the imagination. We would have time for more leisure pursuits. Stress levels would go down, personal health would improve, fewer people would get sick, health care costs would diminish.

I can see the headline now: "Epidemic of common sense sweeps the nation, health care costs drop 20 percent in one year." What a concept!

But wait. I'm one of those people with an advanced degree who does studies, gives speeches, goes to meetings and consults with power brokers. If DUH is successful, my entire professional identity and sense of self-respect and well-being could be wiped out, not to mention the comfortable living I now enjoy and a rich network of friends and colleagues. Whatever will I do with my free time, who will I talk to, what will I put on my résumé?

Horrors! Could it be that common sense might interfere with my self-interest and preservation?

DUH.

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*The Drift reflects the views of the author, and does not represent the official view of SLHI's Board of Trustees and staff.